sept. 14

sept. 14

This return to school is a disappointment after this summer, which I think was one of the best/worst summers I've had ever.  I feel things heavy and I process things quickly and I don't like this place anymore.  I've lost my earnestness and my ability to believe in what it stands for, and it mostly feels like I'm working really hard for nothing.  I do not want Reed to be my life.  Just part of it.  I wish Reed would let me have that.  I wish it would let my friends have that.

This cowboy's running from himself

This cowboy's running from himself

It's 2014 (hello again, blog) and I'm back at this job again, did you know?  It's magical.  This is a magical place and it's changed me and I never want to leave.  Except I do, because it's tainted now with memories of a boy who squeezed my heart too hard (not hard enough to break it, but hard enough to bruise).  He's gone and I'm here but I am all the better for it.  I'm confused and I'm a little sad but I think I've learned and I think I've grown, and I think I've made friends I never would have elsewhere, and what counts is what you keep, not what you lose.  What counts is what you keep, not what you lose.