I hate the beach but I stand in California with my toes in the sand
Hello blog, I've been neglecting you greatly.These are some things which I have done since we last spoke, or since we last spoke in great length:
I am pretty sure that I reached a lowest low last semester and whether it was clinical depression or not, I feel better now mostly, and that feels like an accomplishment.
I have great friends who can sometimes but not always make up for that feeling that I am always going to be alone, which I think is probably one of the causes of my depression but not its biggest factor and it's something that still bugs me but not always in a terrible way and I don't know if I can ask for much more than that.
Reed frustrates me and I am not ready to go back, but I have three months off including six weeks spent living with teenagers in a dorm, and then I'm moving into a house with my friends and then I'm going to (hopefully probably I always chicken out oh God what if I chicken out) spend a semester in London, and then it will be summer again summer again summer again.
Can I measure my years in summers? I guess I can only do that until summer isn't time off anymore. Which is only a few more years now, I suppose.
I think every summer I write this post where I say that I want to sleep and read and watch tv and write, and I always say that and I'm always disappointed that I didn't get done what I wanted to get done but maybe that's inevitable because what we have and what we can do is never enough. Or something.
