You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness
There are two weeks of classes left and why do I always feel like I have a hum paper to write and a bio test to study for? I am unhappy here, but I don't think it's here, as in this place, that I'm unhappy with. It's this state of being, this sad, hateful, lonely state of being. Sometimes I think that a boyfriend could make me happy even though I'm pretty sure that's not true because something in the back of my mind is telling me that I'd come to like him more than my friends and then he'd leave me and I wouldn't have any friends to go back to, because isn't that what always happens to girls with too many feelings? And sometimes I think that I'm not sure I can do this, spend four years here in this place full of so much incomprehensible reading and these people who like to be naked in public and smoke too much pot and judge you for judging things like nakedness and smoking.I wish someone would type me to sleep. It's such a soothing noise. I wonder if I'm alone in that.
