Go on, make a mountain out of air

Go on, make a mountain out of air

Today was one of the most stressful afternoons I've had in a long time.  My history teacher does not know how to communicate.  And today was not the best either.  I hate that I let other people affect my mood.  I can be perfectly happy and smiling and carefree, but if one of my friends is feeling grumpy or angry or is acting bitchy, then I get annoyed and mimic the way that she's feeling.  What I hate even more is that I know that I do this, but I can't control it.  The more I think about it, the more frustrated I get, and then I just end up snapping at everyone who says anything to me.    

I keep typing and backspacing and typing and backspacing.  How is it that I have nothing to say tonight?  I guess it's because I know what I'm thinking - it's weird that my mom doesn't like one of my friends, I think certain people should be nicer, I think freshman girls should check the weather before they get dressed in the morning - but I can't really put it out on the internet for whoever to see.  That's the weird thing about blogging - I don't blog for you, I blog for me, but it's hard to blog for me when I have to sort of censor myself.  Oh, wait, here's something I can say:  I don't want your facebook group invitations.  Yes, you, I mean you.      

Tomorrow is Friday.  All I have to worry about is the drivers test.  And then I'm home-free, or whatever the expression is, for the weekend.  Two days til Jason Mraz!  I had an impromptu dance party to "Dynamo of Volition" about a half hour ago.  He always manages to turn my crappy days around.  :) 

Possibly bad at BAD

Possibly bad at BAD

Kate the Awesome has taken on the weight of BAD this month, Blog All December. I'm going to attempt to do this with her because, as noted, she is Awesome, but I may have to resign myself to BAAD, or Blog Almost All December. We shall see, my dears.

I'm not going to attempt to write extremely coherent posts, as by the end of 6th period everyday I'm usually totally drained of any coherent thoughts I may have possessed. So December is going to be a sort of journal entry month, with some lists thrown in there, possibly.

To start us off, some thoughts on my pants.

The left knee of my jeans has a giant rip. (And yes, I bought them like this. I know, "how much did you pay to have someone else rip your pants for you?" and all that.) This giant whole, which is not totally open as denim fiber spans its open space, seems to be growing. One possible reason for this is that I like to sit cross-legged/Indian style in my desk chair since it has no arms and isn't particularly comfortable otherwise. But besides that, these are on of my favorite pairs of jeans, so they get washed at least once a week, usually. That can't be helping either. I guess if the knee completely rips open then I buy a new pair? Or possibly a patch.

I noticed a minute ago that my one-year anniversary on Blogger was two months ago. I figured I should point it out, although actually it makes no sense, as my blog has posts on it from January of 2008. Hmm. Oh, I see now. My October post says I just transferred my blog from elsewhere. Okay.

In other news, I have failed NaNoWriMo most efficiently. I wrote about 600 words the first day, a horrible start, and then on November 2, I decided that what I'd already written was crap and so I started again. I got about 10,000 words into that before I took about a 3 week break. Then on the day before Thanksgiving, I looked at my calendar and decided I could totally write 40,000 words in 5 days. I wrote 5,000 words that night, and now my novel sits at 15,000 words. I never realized how many words 50,000 is until I tried to write that many.

Emerson's "Self-Reliance" is calling to me, or rather my English grade is, so see you tomorrow, I should hope.

Getting back on the horse or the bike or something like that.

Getting back on the horse or the bike or something like that.

So... This feels a bit strange. I haven't exactly blogged much lately. How are you? Who are you? Are you still out there?

I'm still here. Chugging along and such... that made me think of the Little Engine that Could. I wish I were the Little Engine that Could. Anyhow.

I'm taking pain-in-the-butt classes. I only really like one of them, my English class, which is really small and cozy and the teacher's a kick and it's not too hard or too easy. I have it 6th period so it's a really great way to end the day. But the rest of my classes are boring or difficult or just plain a waste of time. I really look forward to the weekends, and then they go by really fast and suddenly it's the week again. On top of all that, I'm supposed to be prepping for the SATs and looking at colleges and doing driver's ed. I have made zero progress on all three of those fronts.

Besides school, I'm basically really great. I know I never really talked about my whole summer-at-Yale thing beyond saying that I met some really amazing people, but I think the entire experience really helped me grow as a person. I don't want to be cheesy and sappy, but - okay. Let me put it this way. In the past few months I've gone to a concert, a Nerdfighter event, and antique shopping, without my parents, in places that I'd never been before, and I had absolutely no fear of that. That used to be my first instinct - like, don't talk to strangers, hold your wallet really close the entire time. So, this is a good thing, I suppose.

In other news, I discovered that I really like acoustic guitar players named Matt. These include Matt Nathanson and Matt Duke, among others. Also, I am epically behind on NaNoWriMo. I keep telling myself I'll catch up this weekend, and then I have so much to do and I just don't. I honestly don't think I'm going to finish, but as I don't like my novel or where it was going anyway, I'm not that broken up about it.

I've also decided that I really want to learn how to play the guitar. But I really don't have time to take lessons and I don't know if I have enough patience to teach myself, like my friend is doing, or actually the musical talent required to do so. It's sort of irrelevant at the moment, anyhow, as my mom said she won't take me to look at guitars until after I get my learner's permit. And I honestly don't see that happening anytime soon.

And now it's almost midnight, so I should be heading to bed so I can get up tomorrow and somehow miraculously finish all my homework before I have to meet with a group for APUSH so we can color. Have I mentioned how much I cannot wait for the year to be over?

- Natasha

What I Did This Weekend: A List

What I Did This Weekend: A List

The only bad thing about three-day-weekends is having to go back to school on Tuesday morning. To describe mine, I'm taking the easy way out. Here's a list.

This weekend, I:
- Watched the pilot episode of the original "Beverly Hills, 90210" and was severely mentally damaged by what was considered fashionable in 1990.
- Sat through the movie "Undiscovered" on youtube and actually smiled at it.
- Introduced my sister's best friend to Heath Ledger through "10 Things I Hate About You" and then was forced to inform her of Heath's death.
- Made popcorn in the microwave for the first time.
- Went to the mall with my sister and her best friend. Bought two pairs of earrings and a purse and listened to sister and best friend speaking in British accents for two hours.
- Watched a marshmallow swell to abnormal size in the microwave but skillfully prevented it from exploding by turning the microwave off just in time.
- Bought pink plaid knock-off Raybans.
- Wrote a rhetorical precis on a part of Maimonides' "The Guide for the Perplexed." Managed to abstain from both *facepalm* and *headdesk*.
- Fell in love with Chris Pine and Zach Quinto simultaniously while watching this video.
- Came across this girl on youtube via MJ's twitter.
- Repeatedly wished I was at LeakyCon. Repeatedly drowned wishes by dancing around my room to wrock.
- Put away the books that were all over my room. Except for the Harry Potters. Because they stay.
- Read the first post on Herd of Blog: Textual Confessions of Delicious Ambiguity, the group blog in which I am Wednesday, starting this Wednesday. Yay!

Hope you had a good weekend as well.
:]