Would you really rush out for me now

Would you really rush out for me now

Today I woke up late, went out with my mom, had dinner with my parents.  Talked excessively about accolades that I don't have and schools that I didn't get into.  Watched a movie about the financial crisis.  Reminded myself a million times that there are less than 10 days left, less than 10 more days during which I have to go to school and pretend and constantly remind myself that it's almost over.  There's a part of me that thinks that I've done this all wrong, these last four years, and then there's a part of me that knows that when I'm older, when I'm looking back on my past as if it were someone else's, "this", all of it, isn't going to matter at all.  Does that make any sense?  I guess whether or not I've done what I should doesn't make a difference, because it's in the past and I can't change it now.

Tomorrow I am going to do my homework and nothing else.  I have nothing to do anymore, and it's really scary and completely gratifying because it makes me feel a little like I haven't worked this hard for nothing.