On the broken radiator

On the broken radiator

There is snow outside my window and I laughed a lot tonight and things are good, except I haven't really figured out how to tell my roommate's boyfriend to gtfo because I want to go to sleep, and I haven't figured out how to dress for this weather or how to talk to people or what it means when someone speaks to me directly by name even though I've barely spoken to them before.

And also I want a boyfriend but I'm not sure why, and I think it might be because my roommate has one and I feel like she's slipping away from me a tiny bit every day, and because I don't know how to act around him, and because I don't have to impress him but I want someone of my own to impress, and because I don't want someone who is nice to me all the time but someone who is kind to me and interested in me and wants to spend time with me and is okay with who I am.

So really I'm at that point again where things are settling and I really just want something to happen, I guess.