We lost faith in the arms of love

We lost faith in the arms of love

I'm always the girl you ask about homework and the one who lends you a pen and then never gets it back.  Today is self-loathing and Ben Howard and glasses and sadness settling in my stomach.  Today is waking up tired and undercooked pancakes and feeling blind and broken.  It's hard to remember why I'm here and it's hard to remember what I want and it's goddamn harder than hell to feel like I'm worth anything.  The black typeface on my computer screen looks green from a certain angle and everything seems awful from this certain angle, but it's the angle that I'm living and it's the one I can't get away from.

I want to go home and sleep for a week.  I want to eat whatever I want and not give a damn.  I want to watch a million hours of television and write analytical essays on my favorite characters.  I want to stop feeling so much so often so heavy so many tears.