I'm a mile away from where I belong

I'm a mile away from where I belong

I'm leaving for Portland tomorrow night, but before that I'm taking my Euro final, and I'm kind of terrified, moreso for Portland than the final.  I think how conscious I am of this fear of strangers and adults and children and anyone with thoughts and the potential to judge makes it even worse.  I can't remember ever stuttering or tripping over my words, and now I've developed a habit of both.  And I'm a ridiculously hypocritic person, going around worrying about everything and preaching this whole attitude of it doesn't matter what people think of you if you're happy yourself.  I hate, hate, hate that part of my happiness has to come from being liked by others - or maybe, not being disliked. 

Maybe if I sleep on my Euro review book I'll absorb its contents via osmosis.