I Am Mrs. Potter the Jedi

I Am Mrs. Potter the Jedi

My strange friend/stalker/acquaintance who talks a lot Michael Kang likes to draw funny pictures of myself and my friend Alison. (Hi Alison!) He also has a fetish for Octomom. Today he came up with a sketch showing me as a Jedi - I had part of my hair in a braid by my ear today, and apparently that resembles this. My English teacher caught him today, and forced him to hand over the drawing by threatening him with a referral.*

She pointed out such details as the spaceships that look like flying pieces of pizza and the fact that my stick-figure counterpart looks anorexic, and then asked why Dobby the house elf was included. That, my friends, can only be explained by this:



Here you see me, with my husband Harry Potter, and our two children Jack and Allison. The background features such familiar characters as Hagrid and a badly-drawn hippogriff, as well as unique interpretations of the Sorcerer's Stone, the Chamber of Secrets, and a deathly hallow. Also present is a broomstick that my English teacher might interpret to be phallic, a "whipping" willow tree, and a sad-looking phoenix.

So my English teacher continued to examine the drawing of me in space, asking, "Michael, are you obsessed with Natasha?" Meanwhile, Ali and I were laughing so hard we were practically falling out of our seats. Soon the rest of the class became involved, explaining to the teacher that "Dooby" is in fact Dobby from Harry Potter.

After class the teacher called me and Ali up as we were leaving and asked us if we had any more drawings. She already knew about Michael's thing for Octomom** because the drawings are in my journal and she grades those sometimes, but we showed her me with Harry and a drawing of our*** love child, which Michael had cleverly called a blending of our names.

Alas, my friends, I am a Jedi. I've been waiting my whole life for this; my desire to have a light saber is only reinforced every time I walk through a sliding door. Unfortunately, all documentation of my foray into space has been confiscated. At least I can still use my marriage to Harry Potter as my claim to fame.

One last thing: look at what my sister made me! Isn't that fantastic?

* Don't ask me to explain what a referral is. I don't actually know. No one does. It's just bad.
** I know you want to see Michael's depictions of Octomom as well, but unfortunately I left them in my locker. Yes, there is more than one.
*** Meaning Ali and I.