I know it's been such a long time

I know it's been such a long time

This is a passage from my "novel" and the grammar is horrible but that's the way I like it.  I've got a lot on my mind right now and I can't get it straight and I don't want it where it can be found by anyone besides myself, so here's this and maybe in 24 hours things will make more sense to me.

I bury myself in your shoulder, losing myself in my tears.  It’s Sunday, lazy Sunday, and we’re sitting on the grass and the wind is blowing my hair and you’re pulling back my hair playing with my hair and you want to fix it all and you say that everything is going to be okay you know it’s going to be okay and I love you I know that I love you but I’m scared because what if you can’t what if I break what if it breaks and it all falls apart and what if it’s so broken so broken that it’s gone it’s hopeless and you can’t fix it?  All that’s still all that’s for sure is right now right here, you and me and the wind and the trees and my heart and yours and I love you.  And even in the uncertain future where it could break it could all fall apart I love you.