Oh things are gonna happen naturally

Oh things are gonna happen naturally

Things on my mind aujourd'hui:

1. I keep thinking about how you were the splinter in my life.  I've been thinking in extended metaphors and French lately, for some reason.  Tu es l'eclat dans ma vie.  You got so deeply ingrained into my life, so far in that it hurt more to pull you out then it might've to leave you be.  And now I have a scar that I know won't fade quickly.

2. I guess I have something like the opposite of a superiority complex.  My mom says I underestimate myself too much.  But this is different - this isn't my weight or my test scores or my French speaking ability.  This is you (the largely encompassing but not general you that is in this case referring to Gigit, Taco, etc.) and me, and how you're so much cooler than me, in all senses of the word besides temperature.  This is how I feel so inferior - not dumber but maybe more naive or less exposed or just younger.  This is how I feel like I'm the annoying tag along.  And this is silly - because this makes me avoid you, and it shouldn't, because if you didn't want me around - I'd know, wouldn't I?

3. I love the word gone.  And the word word.  And numbered lists and using too many conjunctions and days when I don't see people I dislike.

4. I have a really hard time believing in love in high school.  But then I see it right in front of me, or what people think it is.  I don't know - I'm such a cynic these days.  But how can you fully commit to someone else when you can't even commit to yourself?  I don't think we're mature enough for love yet.  (And I also think that anyone who asserts that they are mature enough probably isn't mature at all.)

5. Sometimes really gorgeous or relevant-to-my-life things come up in my tumblr dashboard and then I'm sad that I can't put them in blog posts because they're from flickr.

6. I've been thinking lately about this idea, this philosophy I suppose, of this is your life, be who you want to be.  And that applies to so many things - dress how you want to dress and do the things you want to do but also act the way you want to act.  Treat others the way you want to treat others, and - I think it applies to personality.  Only to a certain extent, of course.  But sometimes I see people, and I wonder, is that really how you want to be?  I try to be who I want to be - but I guess it's hard sometimes.  Self-doubt, self-contempt.  Too much self. 

7. I think this picture was cropped awkwardly.