I'm just a notch in your bedpost but you're just a line in a song

I'm just a notch in your bedpost but you're just a line in a song

Today I got to thinking about how the Draco/Hermione story (or lack thereof, since it's not canon) is basically (basically meaning I am oversimplifying something that can't really be simplified at all since it's interpreted a zillion different ways in a zillion different fan fics) Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth Bennet, with a lot more complications and a lot more cussing.  And that made me think about how all love stories are basically the same story, and that made me think that that's the same thing I've thought a zillion times.  Something else I've done a million times - started reading a Dramione fic, only to abandon it 300 words later because Draco's house elf is named Cue Tip or Ron is cheating on Hermione with Lavendar (seriously?) or Arthur Weasley is Minister of Magic (it's Kingsley Shacklebolt, man, it's gotta be) or Harry is dating Pansy while Ginny sleeps around or Charlie is with Luna, etc etc.

It just amazes me how you can take a character that's been so well-defined and perfected by someone and just totally tear him or her to shreds.  Ginny is not a bitch and Narcissa Malfoy is not a cookie-baking grandma and fan fic writers overuse the word "irrevocably" and constantly use "the witch" as an alternative to "she."  And what is with phrases that sound nice but don't make any sense, like "artless smile" and can we talk about this ridiculous plot where Ginny wants Malfoy and Ron wants Hermione back even though he cheated on her so they're cooking up some scheme to break them up?  And yet, I can't tear my eyes away.

And also I think it's really interesting that in some of these fics there are spells to do things I never would've thought of.  Like magical wedding bands that prevent spouses from cheating on each other.  I'd think that the wizarding community would only use magic to make things easier on themselves, but in some ways, it seems they've made them harder (as in, no electricity or cell phones) and some of the stuff they use is just sort of creepy and kind of totally restricts free will.  Of course, none of it's real anyway, so.

It's realllllly time I get back to school.