All this time I've been misled

All this time I've been misled

Every time I get my hair cut I think it's going to be some huge transition, some major step toward breaking down this wall that I know I've been hiding behind since 8th grade, maybe before then.  I always feel like my hair's this shield, that I'm hiding behind it, that if I cut it off things will just suddenly change.  But of course that's ridiculous.  My hair isn't a shield or a wall or a safety blanket - it's just a pain in the ass.  And it's not even that long.

I'm getting my hair cut tomorrow, and I know that it isn't going to do anything for my self-confidence.  But every few months I get this itchy feeling, when my hair's too long and the ends are split and I'm just ready for a change.  So goodbye, dream of gorgeous long braid-able hippie hair.  You're not even real, anyway.  Celebrities only achieve you with hair extensions and hours with stylists and lots and lots of curling irons and blow dryers.  Hair like that in real life is not possible.  At least not for people with Jewish genes and little patience and hair that reacts negatively to humidity.

And again, I have this horrible tendency to overreact.  I'm only cutting four or five inches.  It'll grow back.  I really need to get rid of this aversion to change - maybe it's part of the wall, the Franklin the Turtle shell I've been living in for a while now.  Yet I feel like changing my blog layout again.  I'm one big ridiculous contradiction, aren't I?