You pore your heart out but you never do see you never do see me

You pore your heart out but you never do see you never do see me

Thing One:  When chocolate starts to taste like pennies, which is the same taste you get in your mouth before you throw up, only you know you're not going to throw up, it's just that somehow your chocolate is tasting like pennies.

Thing Two:  Being asked by your econ teacher to take the attendance up to the office on the way to the computer lab; arriving at the computer lab to discover that the class can't get in because the door is locked; talking about colleges with people you don't really know because it seems that college is the only thing that anyone can talk about right now.

Thing Three:  Realizing you need a notebook for English class and then realizing that you have $20 in your wallet and a drivers license and a car with amazing mileage and a gas tank that seems to never need to be filled; going to Target to buy a notebook and using the 10-items-or-less checkout and then feeling awkward when you're handed your change.

Thing Four:  Being force-fed compliments that you don't want to hear; accepting that you're not going to get to see Deathly Hallows at midnight like you've been dreaming since you were eleven years old and your Hogwarts letter didn't come in the mail; still dreaming about winter formal dresses despite knowing that you won't be going; knowing that your friend will be going because she somehow suddenly has a boyfriend that you're not sure if you're supposed to talk about so you haven't mentioned it to anyone yet.

Thing Five:  Benedict Cumberbatch.  Martin Freeman.  Benedict Cumberbatch.  Martin Freeman.

Thing Six:  The night before a math test that you think you're ready for, but you always think you're ready and you never do well; everyone in the world who isn't your mom and doesn't understand that you just can't do math; your bitchy first period teacher who thinks football games at her alma mater are more important than coming to school; feeling like there's nowhere worse to be than second period when a certain someone just won't shut up about something that no one else cares about; the semicolon.

Thing Seven:  The collection of broken pencils and dead pens on your desk that seems to just keep growing bigger and bigger and bigger; the bottle of hand sanitizer you've had since the swine flu outbreak a zillion years ago that smells even worse now than it did then; wondering if it bugs anyone that you blog like this and then deciding that it doesn't matter anyway.

Thing Eight:  Listening to Michelle Branch; thinking about how the music you loved when you were ten years old is even better now, and much more relevant to your life; that deep-seeded secret love you have for country music and the stories it tells that you'll never tell anyone about; wondering why celebrity hair always looks so much better than non-celebrity hair.

Thing Nine:  Constantly wondering who the woman on the cover of the AP European History textbook is rather than actually doing the chapter 21 packet because it's nineteen pages long and it scares you and you hate the way your writing looks until after you've filled up a whole page.

Thing Ten:  Tabula Rasa when it comes to thinking of a Thing Ten; John Locke and his funny hair; everyone and their funny hair; your frizzy hair; thoughts of school; thoughts of graduation; thoughts of anything but now, tomorrow, next week.