L'avenir

L'avenir

Today I was in the car with my mom and she suddenly reached over and swatted my hand out of my mouth.  I didn't even realize I was biting my cuticle - but there I was, biting it.  And then I looked at my hands, my fingertips.  Eight out of the ten are torn up and red and swollen.  Then I came home and did some internet research.  This is a real medical condition.  It's called dermatillomania, and it's compulsive skin picking.  I started looking at all these pictures - these people with torn-up backs and arms and faces and fingers so swollen they can't bend them.  And I'm done with this.

So I found this website called 43 Things.  It's about setting goals, and reaching them.  The reaching them part is important.  And then I joined it, and I set a goal for myself.  It's in the side bar of my blog now.  You can bug me about it if you want, but I'm likely to snap at you.

Also, laugh at me.  Go ahead.  It's just my fingers, right?  And picking disorder - yeah, that sounds funny.  This isn't anorexia, and it's not alcoholism, but it's my problem, and hell, I'm going to fix it.  I want to have pretty hands.  I want people to compliment me on my nails.  I want to be able to tap my nails on the table all the time.  I want to be stress-free.  I want to quit sounding like a Clearasil ad.