I have a secret...

I have a secret...

Okay, here goes...

I WANT TO SEE THE HANNAH MONTANA MOVIE.

Yup, that's what I said. I honestly truly REALLY REALLY REALLY want to see it. In a theater, at the too high $10 price. With the big screen and the smelly seats and the popcorn on the floor and the screaming little girls. (Okay, maybe I could do without the screaming little girls.) Because I LIKE HANNAH MONTANA. I like Miley and Lilly and Oliver and Jackson, and I like the stupid lines and corny songs and bad costumes.

Not that I'm a Hannah Montana fangirl or anything. Because I'm not. I just want to enjoy an hour and a half with mindless characters and a pointless plot line. (Plus that blond kid looks pretty cute too, no?) I want to laugh when someone trips (because I know there'll be one of those scenes) and shift uncomfortably in my seat like a five year-old when Miley's blond boyfriend barely pecks her on the lips. And then I want to go home afterword and cut out pictures of Hannah from PopStar! magazine and tape them to my bedroom walls and then I want to dance around to the Jonas Brothers while I pretend I'm secretly a superstar.

Okay, well, I wouldn't go that far. All I'm saying is that I want to see the Hannah Montana movie.

I know what you're thinking. Hannah Montana is lame. You know what John Green says about the use of that word. P Diddy does just fine, remember? Hannah Montana is for little kids. Yeah, Disney Channel is for kids. Hannah Montana has bad hair. Can't disagree with you there. Natasha really likes using italics. Right again, but that's not what we're discussing now, is it?

Judge me if you want. Go right ahead. But admit it: You want to see the Hannah Montana movie too. And you know you're gonna like it.